First Trimester: anxiety, exhaustion, nausea, and elation

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As the first trimester winds down, and I was getting ready to go to my first appointment with the doctor, I felt the same nervous anticipation I felt three other times.  Would I hear that rapid heartbeat of a living being inside of me that has made me smile every time I’ve heard it?  What would the OB say?  “You have diabetes.”  No, surely not that, even though the nurse had me do that awful one-hour glucose test just because my dad had diabetes.  What would my blood pressure be?  During my first pregnancy, it shot up every time I went to the doctor’s office—sheer anxiety, I think.  Anxiety about what for Pete’s sake?  I didn’t even have any children.  What could I possibly have been anxious about back then?

It turns out that everything went well at the appointment.  Normal blood pressure, normal blood work, and guess what?  No diabetes.  That’s a big surprise.  But when the doctor tried to find the baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler, NOTHING.  We could only hear me.  Not good.  So he tried to reassure me and told me he’d have the tech do a “quick scan” just to check for the heartbeat.  She was able to see me right then.  What are the chances of that?  As soon as she got the ultrasound thing on my belly, sure enough, we saw the baby instantly!  Wow.  It was totally cool.  I’ve never had the chance to see my babies at that stage, and it was so amazing.  Big enough to see arms, legs, mouth, nose, and ears, but small enough to still have more than enough room to move around.  It was flip-flopping all over the place, wiggling, turning and moving nonstop!  I walked out of there smiling.  It felt so good to see that little wiggling body!

So, here I am:  almost 39 and 12 weeks pregnant.  Let’s not forget that I have a 20-month old, a 3 1/2 year old, and a 5 1/2 year old to deal with as well!  Can you say “exhaustion?”  I’ve never been so tired in my life.  I can sit down to read with the kids at nap time and immediately start to doze off right in the middle of a sentence about Frances and her Chompo bar.  All I seem to eat are pretzels, and for variety, peanut butter filled pretzels.  Thank goodness I’m getting my protein in!  I always seem to have a bad taste in my mouth, so Jolly Ranchers and hard peppermint candy have become a staple in my diet.  Hopefully that’s not wreaking too much havoc on my teeth since every time I try to brush my back teeth, I gag on my toothbrush.  I’m hoping that the worst is over and that things will be looking up from here.

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