Retro Wednesday: Wife Spankings Fresh Coffee

Retro Wednesday: Wife Spankings Fresh Coffee

Well, I don’t know about you, but when I looked at this retro ad of this wife being spanked by her husband, I said to myself, “Self, I’m thinking that she purposely didn’t store-test the coffee for freshness.”   What do you think?

Spankings for Fresh Coffee

I’m also thinking that not so long ago, it was politically correct to treat women as the subservient of the sexes.   Wife beatings for  for inferior coffee is one thing, but Pitney Bowes takes it one step further posing the question, “Is it always illegal to kill a women?”  Last time I checked, it was.  But this ad once again places the female in a role of inequality.  And you’ll have to help me with this one too, because I’ve looked at this ad over and over and I still don’t get it.  Am I missing something?  What did she or this postage meter do that warrants such anger in the man?

We all know that when men aren’t busy beating their wives and thinking about killing a female colleague they are focusing on the big picture issues, like coping with seeing water spots on their glassware.  I don’t know about you, but if I see spots on my wine glasses I would leave my wife to find a woman who uses a dish detergent that solves this unsightly problem.  After seeing this ad, I now know why Susan (my wife) washes our wine glasses by hand.  Hey wait one second… I usually wash the wine glasses!

Let’s face it guys, housework is for women.  And the harder they work, the cuter they look!   Okay ladies, don’t write nasty comments on my blog, I’m just reading this ad for Kellogg’s Pep Cereal.   My guess–it wasn’t the vitamins in the cereal, it was those diet pills in the 60s that all the housewives were popping to keep up with the housework and stay looking cute.  Too bad speed kills and a lot of misinformed women suffered the consequences.

Speaking of death, I mean love, what is more romantic to a woman than having cigarette smoke blown in her face.  Well not exactly cigarette smoke, but the cherry tobacco flavor of Cherry Tipalets.  I’m sure women loved it… well most women.  Because when I ordered a vintage pack of Tipalets on line and blew smoke in my wife’s face, she did not follow me anywhere.  She kicked me where it hurts and left me crumbled in a heap on the floor.  Thank God we already have 3.5 children.   Okay…that story wasn’t true, but blowing smoke in someone’s  face never made the top ten list on how to seduce a woman.

The last ad doesn’t need much commentary.  Just another case of women being depicted as the villains.

There you have it.  To all my women friends out there, “You’ve come a long way baby.”  (slogan from 1968 advertising campaign for Virginia Slims cigarettes).