Attention Dads: Invisible Couch!

Attention Dads: Invisible Couch!

Tips for being part of your wife’s life and being a great dad after children hit the scene.

Let’s face it guys, husbands are low on your wife’s priority list when you have children. If you have one child, you ranking drops to #2  (actual about 7 months before the child is born).  If you have two kids, then you have been demoted to your wife’s #3 spot. Three children? Guess what? You may as well be a piece of furniture in the house, pretty much ignored until someone needs the grass cut or garbage disposal unclogged. And four kids? Your priority number just plummeted to #5 and you are in danger of becoming An Invisible Couch!

What, never heard that expression? Well that’s because I made it up after our second child entered the playing field. And with cute little kids running around the house, there’s no blaming your bride for ignoring you. She’s busy with the needs of the young ones and  let’s face it, you’re not quite as cute as they are (especially if they look like her.)

Living the life of the Invisible Couch just isn’t that much fun. But there’s hope gents! There is no need to disappear from sight and become an afterthought in the crazy mind of the mother of your children.  Just remember, no matter what you do, you’ll always be ranked last, but at least you will no longer be treated like a piece of old furniture. So here’s what you need to do:

1: Participate in raising those little monsters angels.  Yep, that means getting off of the couch get active with your family. If you like to cook like I do, work a little culinary magic with your wife in the kitchen or go shopping as a family. And if  you are a real tough guy, change a few poopy, stinky, smelly diapers.  That will get you noticed.

2:  Plan quality time with the girl of your dreams (your wife, buster!).  When you have children, it’s important to carve out some time to be with your spouse.  Make sure you have a long list of babysitters that you trust, and grandparents are always the best option!  Kiss the kids goodnight and go out on a date!  If implemented correctly, this plan may even help you create more children to run away from. (optional)

3:   “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make” – John Lennon   That’s right, if you want the attentions of your spouse and you’d like her to save you a few cookies before the sugar-craving fiends shovel them down their greedy little gullets your sweet little children eat them, then you’d better surprise her with a note, a kiss, a flower, a kind word, a compliment, a trip to Hawaii… those kinds of things.  I guarantee that as a mother, she is working way harder than you even if you work like a dog.  Moms work 24/7.  Now, if you are a stay-at-home Dad, then tell your sweetie-pie to read this article and bring you home some beer.  Notes, kisses, flowers and kind words are no match for a cold beer after your children have abused the hell out of you engaged with you in playful educational activities all day.  But the trip to Hawaii would work okay.

4:  Plan a family activity for your family and include options that reduce the amount of work for your wife, like packing a picnic and heading to the park for the day.  When you’re spending time with your children, you’re wife is watching you and are no longer invisible. (Providing she’s not taking a nap due to sheer exhaustion)

5:  Holiday & Special occasions:  Don’t be the guy that lets your wife plan all of the birthdays and holiday activities.  Family traditions are important. And it’s important for families to embrace traditions from both sides of the family and to create new ones together.  These will be the events that create lasting memories for your kids, and they will pass along these traditions to future generations.  Take the time to make each occasion special by being a big part of the planning and preparation.   And  remember, “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” -Jesse Jackson

So there ya have it.  If you don’t want to fade into oblivion and become nothing more than an Invisible Couch, be proactive; take your lady by the hand, look her in the eyes and tell her you love her everyday.  Get involved in the lives of your children and make each day special for them.  Remember, the favorite activities of your wife are the ones where you spend time with the kids (so she can have a break.)

Most importantly, the favorite activities of your children will always be the ones that they do with you.